To your body sometimes. Listen to your body. These small changes can warn of disease. Red stripe on the nail

Hello dear readers!

In this episode I want to talk to you about your relationship with your body. This is a very broad topic, but today I want to touch on one specific aspect of it.

Dissatisfaction with your body. Every woman or man, one way or another, faces unpleasant feelings towards their appearance. And as you and I understand, satisfaction with your body is the most important component of self-worth.

Emotions associated with not accepting your body, such as: anxiety, disgust, despair, anger, envy, shame or embarrassment , suddenly appear in different situations from different people.

Emotions are motivations for various kinds of actions. Let's imagine what actions can be taken when a person experiences one of the emotions listed above in relation to his body (and this means to the most important part of himself)?

The body can be hidden, the body can be disguised, the body can be destroyed, the body can be devalued and criticized, and the body can be constantly brought into line with some ideal, etc. But will this bring a person happiness and self-satisfaction? I think not.

In this episode, I want to invite you to start observing those situations that reinforce and aggravate your unpleasant feelings towards your body. Perhaps many of you can identify groups of situations in which you begin to experience negativity towards your body, for example:

Sexual or intimate relationships with the opposite sex.

Public speaking

Appearance comparison situations (other people, media)

Criticisms about the body

Situations related to clothing, cosmetics and other attributes of beauty.

Situations related to food and diets

Other

Having identified situations where your body will come under fire from negativity, you can try to change your behavior strategy. You are most likely used to being led by your emotions at such moments and taking the actions that are destructive to your self-esteem, which I described above.

I offer you a fundamentally different method. Start to very carefully analyze the negativity that is directed at the body, consider its real origins, and then take actions that are unusual in such situations. Become skeptical analysts, persistently and meticulously check every thought that comes to you in situations where negativity towards the body is exacerbated.

Example 1:

You are about to make a public speech. About a week before the event, you begin to suffer from attacks of fear due to the following thoughts: “I won’t even be able to open my mouth,” “I will be clumsy like a cow,” “I will look very ridiculous,” “People will look at and they’ll think of me: Why is she such a fearful person, she decided to perform here”..... When the “terrible” date approaches, you are already so exhausted that all your predictions come true.

Usually you are full of these thoughts, and the whole coming week turns into a living hell, with short breaks for sleep... well, if you manage to immerse yourself in some task so much that you forget about what’s coming.

New way of doing things. You notice that all your “horror stories” sound in the future tense and begin to ask yourself questions: “Why on earth am I thinking about something that has not happened yet?”, “Who have I heard such remarks addressed to me from before?”

As a result:

A) You will at least live another calm week - thanks to the fact that you will forbid yourself to think about your catastrophic failure.

B) You will perform well and feel good about yourself - thanks to the fact that you remember that one of your parents, teachers or significant loved ones once doubted you. But that was a long time ago... and now you have grown up and are able to present yourself with dignity.

Example 2:

You broke up with a man or woman with whom you had a love relationship (or you were unable to achieve reciprocity from the object of your love). Your head is full of thoughts: “I’m not attractive enough”, “My body is not sexy, I can’t be attracted to”, “My body can’t be loved”...

Usually you are overwhelmed by a feeling of insignificance bordering on despair. You may even experience suicidal thoughts and a desire for complete isolation from people (especially the opposite sex).

New way of doing things. Ask yourself, “How is it that because of failure with one person, you put an end to your ability to be attractive?” The truth is that this relationship failed, but the complete lie is that your body is to blame! People do not always meet reciprocity in relationships, but this cannot mean that they are “defective”; it just means that finding your soul mate is not an easy task.

Think about the role of the body that was welcomed (or denied) in your family of origin. How did your parents feel about their bodies, and how did they feel about your body—especially in aspects related to attractiveness and sexuality?

As a result:

A) By sticking together your own thoughts according to the scheme: “The truth is..., the untruth is...”, you can get rid of catastrophic conclusions in which truth and fiction are glued together. Feelings of despair and insignificance arise, as a rule, precisely in response to such conclusions. And if you can separate fact from fiction, you will only respond to the truth. Do you agree that it is much easier to feel sadness about a loss (failure) in a relationship than to also feel your insignificance?

B) By analyzing the attitude towards the body in the family, perhaps you can draw some parallels between how your parents treated the body and how you treat it. This gives you the choice to accept your parents' model or nurture your own vision of your body.

Please note that finding, adopting new ways of thinking and being skeptical of your own thoughts is not an easy task. This most often requires psychological help, for which you can turn to specialists of our Consultation.

Best regards, Maria Vladimirova

The less we know how to live our feelings as they arise, to direct our negative emotions - fear, anger, resentment - to the one who causes them - the more such unfinished situations and actions accumulate in the body... Typically in the form of diseases... Often - in the form excess fat... And our “getting rid of excess weight” often (in the unconscious) also carries the idea of ​​dumping accumulated unfinished negativity.

But this can only be achieved by mechanical methods - reducing nutrition, exhausting the body with excessive training, etc. - this is to drive our body - and our psyche - into even greater stress... There is a healthier and gentler method - together with the program for improving bodily forms, begin to master the program of mental healing. Try “here and now” to end traumatic situations, the traces of which disfigure our harmony and beauty. This is, of course, work. Sometimes long... But pleasing with its results.

The path to yourself can begin with the recognition that my body is me! I love my body. I respect my body's needs. I am grateful to my body for its honest work. If I want my body to change, I respectfully ask it to do so. I reward my body every time it listens to me. I understand and sympathize with his resistance. The resistances of my body are the guiding thread of my development.

How can we begin to implement all this?

1. Every morning, standing in front of the mirror, we say out loud either what I wrote above or our text - but without the prefixes “NOT”, which are ignored by the unconscious.

2. We nourish the body according to its biological needs.

3. We work with our fears, emotions, unfinished traumatic situations - both independently and with professional help, in order to resist the urge to “eat up” all of the above.

So why does our body sometimes so stubbornly resist giving away what it has accumulated?

The view of an ordinary average woman on her body, based on research by American psychologists, is evaluative, critical, and dissatisfied. When we look at ourselves in the mirror, in the vast majority of cases we are busy counting wrinkles, folds, bumps, hairs, etc.

And when we begin to make efforts to improve our body in accordance with our tastes (which are usually a replica of the tastes of society), our dissatisfaction increases to a degree... “How is this so?! - we hiss at the body, standing on the scales in the morning. “Yesterday, at the cost of enormous effort, I gave up dinner, and the needle on the scale is in the same place???!!!” Etc., etc....

Imagine this situation for a moment: you work to the limit of your capabilities, try, give your best every day, and your boss is constantly dissatisfied with you. Instead of - at least occasionally - praising, encouraging, thanking you, he constantly increases the momentum of his demands, compares you with Klavdia Petrovna from the plan, for whom everything is “excellent”, but with you... You are counting on a bonus - and he you are fined for any, even the most trifling, reason. At the same time, he exploits you beyond measure, neglecting your needs for proper rest. I think each of you has something to add to this picture...

How long will you last in this mode? And how will you treat such a boss? I think that the degree of your resistance to such an attitude will be directly proportional to its pressure on you...

I hope this sketch reminds you of something. If you really treat your body differently, I’m very happy for you! But for those who came to this line thinking... Let's move on.

When does alienation from one's body occur?

It seems that for many of us - in early childhood. When parents often swear, for example: “Dirty!” or “Look what you look like! All children are like children, and you...!!!” When we are driven into shame for any reason. Shame is the feeling that appears when a significant adult tells you: “You are different! Nastier, dirtier, stupider, uglier, less perfect than US.” Shame makes a person lonely: here they are, so perfect, and here I am, so disgusting... How can a small creature cope with this? One of the ways is to internally alienate yourself from the body that creates all these outrages. What should the body do? Shrink, slouch, hide under a layer of fat... And console yourself with something tasty... And alone, secretly from the all-seeing eye of an adult...

And when we grow up, we often copy the behavior and attitudes of our parents in relation to ourselves. For example, in relation to the body. The body already has very little chance to please us with its perfection - the standards of bodily perfection in modern society... And then there’s the childish habit of being ashamed of one’s body, punishing it, ignoring its needs... But the body is me! So we are ashamed and ignore ourselves? Looks like it...

How to negotiate with your resistance to change?

How to get out of this circle? Step by step, restoring the internal connections of the spiritual and physical, damaged by upbringing and the pressure of “ideal standards”. According to our culture, even touching yourself again seems like a perversion. But the body needs touches... Through them, connection and unity with the soul, with itself is restored...

This is exactly what you can do without shame for “perversions” - buy a manual massager - either like a two-handed washcloth or a “handheld” - and massage yourself in the morning and evening. Saying to yourself: “I am beautiful, I am smart, what kind of legs, tummy, arms, etc. I have.” If you have children, remember how you cooed with them in their infancy - now you do the same with yourself.

And also - under the shower, on a washcloth - with fragrant soap - and with gentle movements, carefully, with love... And you can also use your imagination and imagine how water washes away everything unnecessary - even fat accumulations, which the body is so eager to get rid of...

Well, creams, of course... We smear ourselves and imagine how elasticity and muscle tone are returned - or confirmed - and we ourselves form the body that we want so much.

Be prepared to face resistance. With the fact that the “enthusiasm” will last for a maximum of five days, then everything will try to return to normal. And that's normal! All your life you have basically ignored and shamed your body, it has become accustomed to your betrayal and “attacks” - and what do you want to “build bridges” in a couple of weeks and receive forgiveness for years of betrayal? Well, this is unlikely... Treat resistance with understanding... Take a break... Just without grumbling and accusations... With sympathy and acceptance... Do you look in the mirror at least a couple of times a day? Just smile or wink at yourself, or somehow make it clear that you are one...

Every time you approach yourself with care, love, a washcloth, a massager or cream, remember that you are free to stop these “flirtations” at any moment and again become a harsh judge and a rejecting, strict evaluator. Over time, you will definitely figure out what is more pleasant and useful for you.

And here's something else to help: any habit can be formed in 40 days - a fact proven by psychological science. The choice is always yours...

I fought tooth and nail with that woman living inside my body. In my short life I have suffered two plastic surgery, “went through” countless diets, tried everything existing species eating disorders. My main goal was to change myself: how I look on the outside and how I feel on the inside.

Everything was out of control - emotions and desires seemed inappropriate and shameful to me. My own body was foreign; looking in the mirror, I felt disgust. But one day, from the very depths of the abyss, the realization came that you can truly love your body only by stopping constantly monitoring your weight.

From that moment on, I began to learn to treat myself differently. As soon as emotions became travel companions on the road to happiness, and as soon as I stopped looking for loopholes through which I could escape my own feelings, the world changed.

So, below I list 10 signs of loving your body.

1. You listen to what it says.

When my body tells me I'm hungry, I eat. Feeling full and satisfied, I stop. Previously, I experimented on myself, depriving myself of food for a long time and seeing how long I could hold out. Naturally, there was only one result - overeating. I overate to such an extent that I could not move. The more often I began to pay attention to the signals sent by my body and follow them, the more healthy foods began to dominate my diet, and I felt lighter and more comfortable.

2. You change your body position

Having paid attention to yourself, you can find your body frozen in one position for several hours. When you love yourself, physical activity becomes a priority, there is a need to periodically get up and stretch, change your body position, and be sure to find time during the day for stretching exercises.

3. You exercise vigorously, but don't push yourself to the point of exhaustion.

My attitude towards my own body was not gentle. I constantly challenged him - I ran long distances, even when I was feeling unwell I went to work out in stuffy gym, thinking that she simply had to do this. But the truth is different. If you move in a way that feels comfortable to your body, you will always be in shape. I used to think that my body would never want to move. But after I finally discovered forms of physical activity that were comfortable for me, everything changed.

4. You wear comfortable clothes

Don't get me wrong, I'm talking about realizing the freedom to wear (or not wear) clothes as you wish. Sometimes I don't feel the need to wear a bikini and look sexy. In those moments, I try to respect my body's wishes and wear what makes it feel comfortable. This builds trust between us and makes it less likely to look for other ways to feel safe. For example, overeating.

5. You are in control of your sexuality.

For years I was terrified of my own sexuality. An integral part Loving your body is about recognizing and enjoying this important area of ​​your life, despite how your body looks on the outside. Exploring sexuality in a safe, playful way with others or through your own way of being allows you to feel desirable in all parts of your body.

6. You don't wait until you reach your "ideal weight"

Regardless of what I did before, whether I went to parties and dates, took photographs, etc. — I allowed my weight to determine how well I lived my life. Gradually, I realized that my body only truly felt good when I lived to the fullest and followed my heart every moment of my life. This allows you to not look at food as the only source of pleasure.

7. Your wardrobe contains clothes of different sizes.

Due to the female natural cycle, volumes female body are constantly changing. For this occasion, I always have clothes in different sizes in my wardrobe. Therefore, in those moments when my curves acquire pleasant roundness, my body still feels accepted and loved. It knows that I trust it and will always wait until it reaches a more comfortable weight.

8. You pass by the scales with indifference.

My beauty and my self-esteem do not depend on the number stamped on the clothing label. I know I truly love my body when I don't spend time constantly weighing myself.

9. You don't compare yourself to others.

It's easy to get caught up in constantly comparing yourself to other women, especially when it comes to body measurements. This method of action has never brought relief to anyone. In my opinion, one of the signs of love for your body is the desire to get to know a person’s inner world better, and not interest in what he eats and how he looks on the outside.

10. You look at yourself in the mirror and smile.

We always find a lot of reasons explaining why we do not greet the woman reflected in the mirror. Try to smile sincerely every time you meet her gaze. Instead of focusing on the unattractive curve of your hips, pay attention to the captivating eye color and regular facial features. Looking in the mirror, try to consider the mysterious creature living in the wonderful cut of your body. See the body as a beautiful vessel that provides shelter and sustains life. Without asking for anything in return, it will be endlessly grateful for the care and affection from its owner.

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It can be quite difficult to control all the changes that occur in your body. However, here are nine of the most important ones - they may indicate the onset of the disease. Be mindful and pay attention to what your body is telling you.

A pimple that won't go away

According to dermatologists, it's important to keep an eye on acne that doesn't go away for too long. Many people come to the doctor complaining of inflammation that remains on the skin for a long time or constantly bleeds. The result turns out to be carcinoma, the most common form of skin cancer. The solution to the problem is surgery; it allows you to effectively get rid of carcinoma and demonstrates a minimal likelihood of relapse. The main thing is not to miss the moment when you can really get rid of the problem easily.

Constant flaking of the skin

During the winter months, you may well experience excessive dry skin and even flaking. However, be careful: if some area of ​​the skin does not recover and is constantly peeling, you may have eczema or keratosis. This is a precancerous condition that occurs due to damage caused by ultraviolet light. As a rule, it manifests itself as peeling of the skin in areas exposed to the sun - on the face, lips, and on the backs of the hands. Try to always use sunscreen lotion to avoid serious damage and prevent the development of keratoses. Do not under any circumstances leave the problem to chance.

Red stripe on the nail

Many people don't even realize that their nails can reveal a lot about their health. For example, you should pay attention to the appearance of red stripes on one or more nails. Sometimes this simply means that the nail plate becomes thin. However, in some cases it is an alarming symptom associated with an inflammatory process. Inflammation can be caused by psoriasis or lichen. If only one nail is affected, the cause may also be a tumor or fibroma. If you notice that the line is starting to get wider, see your doctor for a diagnosis. This will help you prevent the situation from getting worse.

Changes in freckles or moles

Moles and freckles change with age, but you still need to monitor them - sudden changes can be a signal of danger. Watch to see if the spots on the skin become asymmetrical, if they change color, or if they grow. This will help you prevent the development of such serious problems as skin cancer, so be sure to be careful in such matters.

Chapped lips

Chapped lips seem to be an inevitable phenomenon after the onset of cold weather. However, this may also indicate a precancerous condition, accompanied by dry skin of the lips. If you quickly identify the problem, it can be reversed with sunscreen. If you ignore your condition, you may face carcinoma, which is very dangerous. People who spend a lot of time in the sun and constantly notice cracked lips should see a doctor.

Eyebrow hair loss

As everyone ages, they experience natural hair loss. However, carefully monitor the condition of your eyebrows. Hair loss in this area may indicate hypothyroidism; you should visit a doctor and carry out the necessary diagnostics. If hair loss really turns out to be related to problems thyroid gland, you will need to get treatment as soon as possible. As a rule, it involves the use of medications, herbal complexes, and lifestyle changes, but surgical intervention may also be necessary.

Darkening and thickening of the skin in folds

Acanthosis nigricans is a disorder in which the skin in certain areas such as the armpits or groin becomes dark. Scientists warn that such changes may indicate insulin resistance. You need to visit a doctor as soon as possible and get diagnosed. If such spots appear in a child, the risk of type 2 diabetes is especially high.

Herpes

According to scientific data, more than sixty percent of people have the herpes virus in their bodies. If the inflammation on your lip does not go away within a few days, you should visit a doctor to rule out serious infection or an autoimmune disease.

White spots on nails

One of the common problems is white spots on the nails. As a rule, there is no need to worry about them - they may be a consequence of cuticle injury. However, sometimes you need to pay more attention to your condition. If the changes on the nails are more pronounced and obvious, the plate appears discolored, the problem cannot be ignored. It may be a cardiovascular disease, a liver or kidney problem, or a protein or vitamin deficiency. One way or another, you should consult your doctor.

“Take care of your body so that your soul will want to live in it,” says a Chinese proverb. It is difficult to live if our body is constantly tense or constrained due to stress or negative emotions. Physical ailments and illnesses are sometimes the only manifestation of our negative feelings and experiences. If we are afraid, do not know how or do not have the opportunity to express our fears and anxieties in words, they begin to speak in body language, which we often cannot understand on our own.

The role of a body language translator is taken on by a psychotherapist. There are many techniques that allow us to understand the problem that bothers us through working with the body. We asked four psychotherapists about how they decipher our body signals.

1. Recover

Nifont Dolgopolov, Gestalt therapist

Nifont Dolgopolov: I observe how the client’s facial expression and posture changes during our conversation, what happens to his breathing... I am interested in body movements that enhance the meaning of words or, conversely, contradict it. Sometimes, when visual observation is not enough, I take the client by the hand or touch the back to feel for myself what is happening in his body.

I analyze the connection between movements and how the client describes the problem, and above all, with what he feels at that moment. At the same time, I ask if he realizes that these movements are associated with emotions and memories. I also find out what meaning this or that bodily signal has for him.

Observing the processes occurring in the body teaches the client to better understand the connection between them and his psychological problems. This is often enough to restore mental self-regulation.

Client history

Mikhail, 38 years old, came to me because of severe back pain, which twisted him so much that he often could not even get to the office. During the discussion of the problem, it became clear that pain appears at moments when Mikhail must make a difficult decision. In these situations, he usually relied only on himself, refusing the support of loved ones and business partners. Now the pain, which occurred quite often, appears approximately once every six months, when Mikhail again feels helpless. But as soon as he realizes their cause, they pass.

2. Unwind

Alexander Girshon, dance and movement therapist

Psychologies: What body signals do you pay attention to?
Alexander Girshon: First of all, on how a person moves, what strategies he uses while dancing. But what is equally important is what he or she does not do at that moment. I observe what is dominant and what is underutilized in movement, as well as how a person interacts with space.

How do you interpret these signals?

I always look for an interpretation together with the client. Sometimes we find something important by discovering and exploring movements that we are little aware of. For example, incompleteness: a person begins to move energetically and suddenly stops because he is not sure that he is acting correctly. But you could have “stayed” with this movement a little longer, listened to yourself, and understood where to move next. But in any case, we need time to track the essential, not momentary trends that the body in motion speaks of.

What can the information received be used for?

Firstly, you can work in a “middle way” strategy: if some feature of the movement prevails, weaken it and, conversely, develop what is missing.

The second way is the strategy of “conscious evolution”: there is a certain sequence in the development of the movement, and we find the missing links, try to understand why they fell out, what problem this may be associated with, and then compensate for them. And the third option is the “creativity” strategy, when I invite a person to dance something that bothers him.

Client history

While working with 24-year-old Sergei, I noticed that the center of his body remains motionless during any dance. Fear constrained Sergei not only in our classes, but also in his decisions life tasks when studying a subject. By getting to know his body while dancing, working with it, he managed to get rid of this fear and learned to clearly formulate goals.

3. Relieve tension

Victoria Berezkina-Orlova, member of the European Association of Body Psychotherapy

Psychologies: What body signals do you pay attention to?
Victoria Berezkina-Orlova: The characteristics of the voice, how the rhythm of breathing changes, the color of the skin... I am also attentive to sudden changes: the client’s breathing may become faster, his cheeks may turn red. But I also watch own body. It helps me feel a person more accurately.

How do you interpret these signals?

They are only preliminary information for further work. For example, severe tension in the back of the neck may indicate a mismatch between thoughts and actions. But this is just a hypothesis, which I then test.

What can the information received be used for?

I can talk about what I see, ask a question so that the client pays attention to his body. And sometimes I tell my clients about how their body works, about what modern science knows, sometimes it really helps them understand themselves. If, for example, someone has experienced an attack, they may feel like they are going crazy, so it is helpful to explain how the autonomic nervous system works when experiencing stress. The person calms down and can move on with his life.

I’m ready to explain, do exercises with him, because I’m sure: only by listening to ourselves, trusting our body, can we truly understand ourselves and make our lives more harmonious.

Client history

Daria is 27 years old, she turned to me with a request to relieve her of fear of public speaking. Talking about her experiences, she hunched over, shrank, and finally said: “In front of the public, I feel like a girl awaiting punishment.” Daria had to defend an important project. I suggested that, imagining her opponents “attacking” her, she should say: “Stop!” - and extend your hand forward with an open palm. I pressed on her palm, and Daria looked for a stable position. Until one day she straightened her shoulders and said confidently: “Press harder, I’m not afraid!”

4. Turn on the unconscious

Mark Sandomirsky, body therapist

Psychologies: What body signals do you pay attention to?
Mark Sandomirsky: Both external and internal body signals are important to me. External ones, those that I observe during communication with a client, are changes in posture, breathing rhythm, facial expressions and gestures that are not controlled by consciousness. They indicate that something important is happening to the client at the moment of their appearance. And internal signals are bodily sensations that are associated with various emotions (for example, a lump in the throat often appears when remembering an insult).

How do you interpret the signals you receive?

I try to understand how these bodily manifestations are related to the client’s painful problems or experiences.

What can the information received be used for?

I discuss these bodily signals with the patient - and we are looking for an answer to the question of what his unconscious is saying with the help of his body. For example, a person may have constant headaches, and I help him understand what this pain means to him. By listening to oneself, a person can discover many clues (an unexpected image, a new bodily sensation, a random word) that will become the key to understanding.

For example, during a conversation, a client might say, “I need to rest.” Then it becomes clear that a headache occurs in moments of fatigue, overload and pushes him to take a break.

Client history

Valentina is 40. She asked to help her forget the man with whom she was in love and who abandoned her. But in response to seemingly simple questions: “How do you feel about him now? How do you feel about your body? - She was surprised to discover that when thinking about parting, her body was silent. But if it is indifferent, then the loss is not so great. And if so, there is an argument to look at the situation from a new point of view: separation is a chance to start a new stage in life. What seemed like a problem, thanks to body lessons, became an important step in personal growth.